Questions & Answers About Social Skills Training
Learn How We Approach Social Skills Groups
What is a social language™?
We understand that people who only speak Mandarin will have significant difficulty interacting with people who only speak French. We also know that people who only speak French can’t easily communicate with people who only speak Russian. These are oral langauges and if we don’t know the sounds and rules of an oral langauge, we can’t understand or use it. When people don’t speak the same oral language, they can’t have meaningful conversations.
What we often don’t realize is that the term “social skills” refers to a collection of rules, steps, and routines that are tied to various countries, regions, cultures, etc. When we don’t know those rules and steps, it is very easy to misunderstand someone, accidentally offend someone, etc. When we think of two kiddos trying to play or have a conversation, those same dynamics are at work. The most successful interactions happen when those involved are speaking the same social language™. At Cheerful Chatter, we focus on teaching the most common social language™ in the area.
Learning social skills is like learning to swim™?
100%
If they don’t learn to swim, they’ll sink. If they don’t learn the rules and steps of the social langauge they’re surrounded by, they won’t be able to communicate effectively!
When learning to swim, first they learn to float and hold their breath, then they start kicking, etc.
Social Skills Training has a similar process… there are rules, steps, and a hierarchy of skills that are often learned separately, but used together to make & keep friends. As with swimming, each skill must be learned, mastered & integrated. It’s a process. It’s a social language™! Cheerful Chatter specializes in Social Skills Training.
If they don’t practice, they’ll lose every race. If they don’t master and integrate their new skills, they won’t be easy to apply in real life.
They moved on from floating and kicking to freestyle and backstroke. Now they need to build endurance and coordination.
Similarly, they need to progress through the stages of practice so they can refine their new social skills, juggle those skills with the actual conversation they’re in, increase the efficiency with which they handle all of that information, etc. Without these steps, those new skills won’t be useable. They need to refine their strategies, coordinate the skills, and build their confidence.
Towards the end of this stage, it’s time to practice in the deep end… You know, those moments that are always just a little bit harder. They need to practice things like talking to others at the lunch table, playing at recess, and working with others in group projects, but with a sense of safety, trust, and a lot of social coaching.
The race is on. You only get one chance to make a first impression. School is the swim meet.
At the end of the day, when the race starts, every child is on their own. Those who had proper training, good coaching, and consistently went to practice will win the race.
Does your child know how to make friends at the lunch table and recess? Can they read all the body language? Are they confident and willing to try? At Cheerful Chatter, we’ll get them to YES!!
Are there different types of social skills groups?
Yes! There are friendship-matching groups and skills-based groups…
Friendship-matching groups are the most common. But, we think of them as Step 2 in the process because they expect children to use their new skills at or near the speed of typical social interactions. When was the last time you used a brand new skill at full speed? Life just doesn’t work that way.
In order to build a true foundation, children struggling to make and keep friends need to start at Step 1. By starting with a skills-based group, they’ll learn the skills, how to apply them, and increase their speed of processing and cognitive flexibility in order to decrease the overall cognitive load. We know, that’s a mouthfull…
Think of it this way: Do children learn to swim by jumping into the deep end of the pool? No! They’ll sink!! First they need to learn to float, hold their breath, kick their feet, etc. It’s a process!
Improving social skills is also a process. There are five stages of social skills training™. Skills-based groups cover Stages 1-3. Friendship-matching groups is Stage 4. Real life is Stage 5. Start at Stage 1.
Are you focused on autistic individuals?
We focus on everyone who needs our help. Due to the nature of autism, autistic individuals frequently experience difficulties with social skills. But individuals with social-pragmatic communication disorder, ADHD and anxiety do, as well. People who benefit from our services often have difficulty with:
- Initiating social interactions
- Maintaining two-way conversations
- Segwaying between topics smoothly
- Finding new things to talk about
- Providing relevant information
- Using humor appropriately
- Using and interpreting nonverbal and verbal cues
- Understanding the perspective of others
- Talking about the emotions of themselves and others
Why target friendships?
Because having poor quality friendships… or no friends at all… has its own consequences. Individuals who struggle to make and keep good friends tend to:
- Experience less companionship and greater loneliness
- Get less help from peers
- Have trouble with all forms of relationships later in life
- Have difficulty dealing with stressful life events
- Experience more symptoms of depression and anxiety
How many teens struggle socially?
One third. It’s a large number!
- 55% of teens are considered socially average
- 15% are considered popular…not necessarily well-liked, just well-known
- 30% are struggling because they have been socially neglected or rejected
What are the consequences of social deficits?
There are many answers to that question and it varies with each individual.
Individuals with social deficits may experience:
Difficulty making and keeping friends… they have trouble determining which peer group they fit into and who else is in the that group.
Social neglect and isolation… they may avoid social situations and/or go unnoticed by their peers
Peer rejection… this may include ridicule when they attempt to engage others, teasing, bullying and a bad reputation
Peer conflict… they may have more arguments & difficulty resolving them while maintaining the relationship
Difficulty dating
Trouble getting and keeping jobs
What are the risk factors of peer rejection?
Individuals who are less socially competent, have fewer friends and have less peer support are more likely to be rejected by their peers. However, individuals who have more friends and better quality friendships have some protection… peers and friends stand up for them more often.
What happens when an individual is rejected?
Peer rejection is one of the strongest predictors of:
- Mental health problems such as depression and anxiety
- Poor academic performance
- Early withdrawal from school
- Juvenile delinquency
- Substance abuse
- Suicidal ideation and attempts
If PEERS® is so great, why have I never heard of it?
Because UCLA is an educational and research institution. They are focused on developing quality programs that work and training therapists to provide them. Their focus is not on marketing.
PEERS® is one of the only programs founded in research and encouraged by ASHA (The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association). It is available in 12 languages and 25 countries, as cross-cultural studies have also proven its effectiveness.
What makes PEERS® so much better?
It is as concrete as one can make social skills, so it is beneficial to both concrete/literal thinkers and those who easily use and comprehend figurative langauge. There are no cartoons or metaphors that represent a complex idea… it explains the idea in detail. We use specific rules and steps and everything is broken down.
Best of all, it includes parents! When new skills are practiced with other people and in new settings, they are thoroughly learned, generalized and used more often. Including parents in the process allows them to confidently take on the role of Social Coach at home and in the community.
Also, some of the most popular programs out there sound good, but have little to no evidence to support them… and aren’t very effective. Ask to see the research before you spend your money. You can find links to the research behind PEERS® here.
Why should I consider your program?
Because it has been proven! As of 2013, there were only five evidence-based social skills programs and only one… ONE!… that focused on adolescents. That program was PEERS®. Sadly, there are even fewer that focus on young adults.
PEERS® is based on research! The team at UCLA first looked at what socially-successful individuals did that our struggling clients did not do. They developed programs for various age ranges based on those gaps in skills and tested them. These are not programs about what therapists think children and young adults do. These are programs that teach ecologically-valid skills… we’ll teach kids to be kids, teens to be teens, and young adults to be young adults. Clients will learn skills appropriate for their age!
PEERS® is based on evidence! Randomized controlled trials are the gold standard when it comes to determining if something works. Long before the PEERS® programs were available to the public, they were tested in randomized controlled trials at least twice. The fantastic results were then repeated by other, independent third-parties.
- Participants used critical social skills in the real world
- They made and kept friends
- They hosted and were invited to more get-togethers
- They showed decreased rates of anxiety and parent stress
- What’s even more impressive is that they did even better 1-5 years after their group had ended!
And, our provider is formally trained and certified in three of their programs and counting: PEERS® for Adolescents (School-Based Providers), PEERS® for Young Adults & PEERS® for Telehealth
Who will do well in your groups?
Motivated individuals! Those who are motivated to learn and use new skills do tremendously well at Cheerful Chatter. Motivation is more predictive of success than gender, diagnosis, IQ, and language ability.
Why is parent involvement mandatory?
Because parents… not therapists… are there everyday! For a skill to become truly learned and used, one must apply the skill in all settings… at home and in the communities are two biggies!
Get-togethers are a major part of friendships! Where do they happen? Not at school. Not at therapy. At home and in the community! Who’s at home and in the community? Parents.
When parents learn to become Social Coaches, they can prepare their children, teens and young adults for get-togethers, parties, holiday gatherings, etc. If things go awry, they can be stealthy while giving feedback and making suggestions. We’ll show you how.
This content is general in nature and does not constitute medical advice. You should consult with medical professionals familiar with your case before relying on this content.